Saturday, 31 December 2011


Dear Brofile Readers,

I feel like I end up writing a lot of these types of posts.

This is just a message to say Brofiles has not ended!  I live with full intentions to spend time on it again.  As just one of the writers on this blog, I will attempt to cover what both of us authors are dealing with.  I have recently returned from an intense month-long trip to India, and have loads of homework to make up. My partner is one of the busiest bees you've ever met.  She's constantly off to another engagement and is always short of time to hang out (and make blog posts).  We are also both working on college applications and scholarships.  I won't get too far into our to-do lists, but I just wanted to let you know.  We're not trying to be neglectful.  It's unfortunately just the way things are happening.

Our great apologies.  Don't leave us behind.  We love you all and want you to be irresistible to the rest of society.

Please forgive us,
A Brofile Author

Wednesday, 19 October 2011

Topic One, Part One: Hair

Hair.  It seems to be one of the biggest struggles guys have.  Why though?  Really, I'm seriously asking an actual question.  No rhetoric here.  If you fetched me every single boy in my school, I thoroughly believe I could find each one a suitable style by the end of two hours.  Probably about 3 guys I wouldn't even have to touch, but they're a special few (and, being a creeper, I would probably touch them anyways).  They, of course, would be having grapes fed to them in the corner by a band of gypsy girls in togas.  That's how rare and special they are.

Ahem...  Moving on.

There a few basic things every guy should know.  First off, everybody's hair is different.  Second,  there are still rules each individual needs to follow to achieve maximum attractiveness.

1: Hair Types
One thing to know is that every single person's hair is different.  If you plucked a hair from each human being on Earth and inspected it, you would discover that no one has the same hair.  Please don't, though, because you'd be defeating the whole purpose of reading The Brofiles, since no girl will look at you normally ever again anyways.  The point is, we understand your struggles.  Not every boy can have the Bieber cut, and there's nothing wrong with that - but it's no excuse to have rooster hair.  Here are the basic hair types to get you started:

Course- this means that the width of your individual hairs is thicker.
Fine- means your individual hair is thinner.

Thick- This is the amount of follicles on your head.  If you have thick hair, you have a whole lot of follicles.
Thin-  This means you have a lesser amount of follicles.

Spherical- This is the shape of the actual hair.  If you were to cut a piece of your hair and look at it under a microscope, this would be the shape you would see.  Round hair means your hair is straight.
Elliptical- This means oval.  If you have oval hair, your hair is curly.

The reason to understand your hair type is to grasp the idea that you are different than everyone else and that there are may aspects that go into your hair.  Also, you won't be able to have whatever hair you want, so it is vital to find a style that works for you.

2: Hair Rules
Though every person has different hair - and thus different hair needs and routines - each guy should follow a few rules having to do with hair.
1) Pick something to do with it.
This "something" should probably be a style that already exists.  Unless you are a style icon, unless you are freaking Ralph Lauren, no making up your own style!  Just 'going with the flow' does not work.
2) Get your hair wet every morning.
If you're the type that showers at night, no problem.  Just dunk your head under the faucet (while washing your face is a good time) to start the day on a new page.  This is vital so you don't look like you slept in your car.  Sidenote:  Cold water is really good for your hair.  It seals the follicles making it smooth and shinier.  That sounds girly, but it mostly just prevents straw-like locks.
3) Product (Somewhat optional).
If you plan on pulling off any sort of faux-hawk, just-rolled-out-of-bed look, the right product is very important.  You want something light and natural.  A good one to try might be American Crew Styling Gel.  One of the most important parts of buying hair products (and cuts, for that matter) is to not fear the price.  You get what you pay for, and you have to look "damn fine," you have to have to pay a damn fine price.  It's just the way it is.

Stay sexy!
~H & B

Saturday, 8 October 2011

The Brofiles Begin...

Welcome to Brofiles!  This is the blog created by ladies for ladies-men.  Teaching all of those bro's out there how to achieve their maximum level of swag.  As long-time stalkers of male-kind, we would like to point out that we know what we're talking about.  We would also like to say the word "we" as much as possible.
Anyways, we'll be talking about it all here: hair, clothes, how-to-avoid-saying-jerky-things, and... well, everything else.  But if there's ever a topic we haven't covered, or would like to appear sooner, send a comment our way!  We are here to please you readers.

Speaking of 'please,' PLEASE spread the word!  We here at Brofiles will appreciate you greatly.  As much as the right tie paired with an excellent button-down shirt.